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Earlier this year I received an email from Teddy Love , a company that makes a teddy bear vibrator. It seemed impolite to look a gift bear in the mouth, as it were, so I agreed to try it out. When a comically large box arrived on my doorstep and I pulled the bear out, I actually shuddered. The Teddy Love is, it must be said, intensely creepy. The glassy, dead eyes of a typical teddy bear, when paired with its protruding tongue straight out of a psychosexual fever dream, create a chilling image. For the first few nights I owned the Teddy Love, I kept it across the room from my bed, facing away from me, for fear of what terrible things it might do to me in the dark of night. But eventually it was time for me and Charlie Tango to get to know each other a little better.

No, I haven't just fallen for an elaborate prank although Teddy's website alone could easily be an SNL skit.

The first units start shipping in September; Harmon's vision is "to have Teddy Love in every woman's bedroom, whether here in the United States or all over the world.

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One of the most curious cts of this story is the way Teddy is marketed as a non-embarrassing alternative to buying an actual vibrator. Call me crazy, but I think a teddy bear that gives you cunnilingus is a bit more awkward than a purple, plastic dildo.

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Plus, there's got to be something unsanitary about a sex device that's covered in polyester fur. But, perhaps the most salient selling point is summed up by Harmon on the IndieGoGo page: "Teddy is so cute and lovable, you can cuddle and fall asleep with him after he is done pleasuring you with his powerful, speed vibrations.

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